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First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground

Men recognize that attractive women will have more contacts and therefore there will be more competition for your attention. As backwards as it sounds, this is actually a strike against the woman in some cases. From my experience, this is particularly true for women who have negative profiles. A positive profile on the other hand is one where the likes are listed instead.


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These two profiles could convey the same information but in two very different ways. However, there are some solid statistics that reveal something about whose being contacted…. OKCupid continues its statistical analysis of its users and has released information on your looks and your inbox. This article is mildly off-topic since receiving a large number of views suggests a certain level of attractiveness. Still, I think one of the charts supports my idea that attractiveness is not the sole decider in how much email contact a woman will receive:.

As the article points out, men are far more likely to contact more attractive women. While contact is obviously based in large part on attractiveness, this chart makes it clear that it is not the only variable…otherwise the last data point would have to be even higher unless my high school knowledge of statistics is failing me.

11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses

Maybe being beautiful is enough for a woman and they can be as nasty or boring or unclear or negative as they want to be in their profile. Still, I would ask: Why take the chance? Also, for good or for bad, these statistics show that many men are making most of their decisions with their eyes or another body part if you prefer. Not all men but well over half.

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Because of this, women should take far more care in selecting their profile photos. Ladies who are dating online are pretty rough when it comes to rating male attractiveness at least those at OKCupid, anyway. The article argues that it is your photo that matters most for receiving contact. I would argue that for a woman , your photo matters most. Women are rough on men in how they rate them but far kinder in how willing they are to communicate.

Online Dating Is Frustrating for Men

With that in mind, a great photo is a good start but a great profile is probably more important. This is a bit self-defeating. Imagine reading an advertisement for a product you were interested in, with a footnote that read: Imagine me coming over to your home.


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You would think I was annoying. Which is maybe judgmental of me! But there you go. You are a fascinating person with a broad range of interests and accomplishments.

3 Risk-Free Messages to Make the First Move Online

You have included them all here. Think about the real-life parallel: You would share just enough information to intrigue her. Cut the length of your profile in half. Think that when you meet someone you really like, who really likes you, you will have plenty of time to discuss your hopes and dreams and favorite foods. In truth, there are a lot of women who are also looking for long-term commitment.

Why don't women respond to my online messages?

But keeping in mind the idea that an online profile is like an initial introduction, bringing up a lifelong relationship as a goal on first online encounter might scare a lot of people. Omit your future plans here — if you and a potential partner have a future together, you will have plenty of time to bring it up. One personal question is cute and fun; a list of personal questions can feel like too much work.